Mother Writes: Anger

Friday, 12 October 2012

Anger

Michael Morpurgo

The wonderful Michael Morpurgo was talking on Radio 4's film programme yesterday about his latest big screen adaptation from one of his books, Private Peaceful. Set in the trenches of WW1, the comment was made that the film comes across as being angry. And what Morpurgo said in reply had me racing to grab a pen and paper. Here it is:

'We have this (anger)…otherwise what is film? What is art unless it’s stirring us and opening our eyes and touching our hearts and I think a little bit of anger is grist to the mill.'

That really struck a chord with me. Looking back over my short stories, many of them are set in war zones or painful situations. Even my novel deals with civil war and life under a dictatorship. And it's not because I enjoy writing about war, it's because there is some of this anger Morpurgo talks about churning inside me about the injustice of it. And what do we do when we feel angry, we have to channel it somehow. It's drawing a map of myself and my place in the world, but it's also throwing a potion of anger and hope downriver. Because you never know when these words will be picked up, by whom or what kind chord it will strike with them.

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Mother Writes...What's it all about?

When I was little, I imagined with the supreme confidence of a child that when I was all grown up, I'd be a celebrated writer. And by grown-up, I probably meant about eighteen. The concept of even reaching the age of thirty, let alone beyond, was off my radar and my seven-year old self shuddered at the ominious thought of not having published at least several novels by that grand old age.

Fast forward to the present. Here I am, age thirty-five, wife to a lovely hubby and mother to three gorgeous children. Now, am I writer? My seven-year old self would hold a very strong opinion on this: No, because I don't have a single published novel to my name. But I'm pleased to say that now I'm all grown-up, I'm also a bit more measured and realistic in my expectations of myself. Don't get me wrong - I love my seven-year old self for believing I could achieve that much but I have, over the years, come to an important conclusion:

If you dance, you are a dancer. If you paint, you are a painter. And if you write, you are a writer.

But we have to actually do it, not just talk about doing it. It's all too easy to procrastinate about our creative endeavours and that's all I ask of myself now: to create; to write. And if I'm lucky enough to get something published (which I'm pleased to say that I have done, in the form of short stories, reviews and articles), well, that's a bonus. And that's what this blog offers: little slices of honesty on my plate of life as mother, wife and creator of words. It's often not easy to juggle all three, particularly dealing with bouts of chronic insomnia. But I have to trust this is all part of the journey, and challenges are what make life interesting.